Lulled into a False Sense of Security

Okay so we all know tennis is really just a metaphor for -- okay -- my entire life. I use tennis to work out my demons; to build up my esteem. Tennis shows me things about people and teaches me things about myself.

What a lesson I learned last night.

I've joined a USTA Summer League -- kind of a twist on the SUMCCWHHTPITMOTW League (and by now you should know what that stands for). We travel around the region and play other women with the goal of winning our region and going on to districts, states and even nationals.

So last night my partner and I got out to warm up and I quickly realize that even though this league is supposed to be made up of rated and ranked players, one of the women we are playing as quite possibly never held a tennis racquet before in her life. No, seriously. She could barely make string contact with the ball. And her serve? I cannot even call it a serve.

But here's the thing: we lost.

Because watching her dink the ball and mishit the ball just to have it go over the net enraged me to the point of possible insanity. I had a mental meltdown. And learned something about myself: confidence can be a dangerous thing.

It's the same with weight loss I think. One of my big issues has always been: I kind of rather like me. So while you hear of the thin women who look in the mirror and see a heavy person, I look in the mirror and thing "I'm great!" When, really, I should be thinking "I need to work hard so I can be the best I can be." Just like playing the horrid player. Instead of thinking, "I will focus on making smart, sensible choices," like good ball placement or not overhitting, I thought "Durn it! no way should she win even a point!" and finally, "Oh screw this!" It lost me the match.

And it's gained me some weight in the past. I might think I"m great, but if I face an odd situation and it does not go as I expect from the start, I give up and lose control.

I need to change that. I don't know if I ever want to play that woman again. It wasn't even fun. It wasn't what I call tennis. But as tennis always does, it taught me a lesson. Be realistic. Face your possible faults. And don't always assume you're automatically a winner.

More laughs next time!

Well, you saw that coming

Okay, so I'm nothing if I'm not obvious. Of course I was going to start this off with a bang. Of course I'd be cocky and overconfident. Of course I'd crash and burn. But (Ahh-nold voice here:) I'm baaaaaaaccckkkk.

True, it's almost summer and my dream of pulling off a long, a bit loud Lilly dress is not even a pound closer, but gosh, it's still cold out here so you never know.

Today, I pick myself back up and begin again. My plan:

*I'll walk the two miles to the beach club each morning once it opens. Okay, maybe twice a week. But I'll do it. The kid are wrestling me for cars anyway, and with gas $4 a gallon, I'll be helping my personal economy as well as my waistline.

*Summer tennis. Ahhh yes. I can play seven days a week if I so desire. And I've joined ANOTHER league, (although it hosts the same SUMCWWHTTP league ladies. Come on, think back. You know what it stands for.) This will mean Thurs nights, three hours of solid play. And just for good measure, I've volunteered for SINGLES. Yowza.

* Eat healthy. Just to be sure, I googled Bethany's skinny girl margaritas. Going to try one and see if it could be the drink of the summer. Here you go: bethanybakes.com/skinny_margarita.htm

maybe we can have one together. Watch the video. I LOVE that she feels counting to four is a smart drink amount. And she's skinny so it MUST be. Oh, I guess eating healthy involves eating too. I'm thinking grill, grill, grill. Let's see if I can pull it off.

But I need some support. Oh so powerful Moira is feeling sheepish . . . I let it fall apart again. Now I need to begin again.  I need to remember that it's not about an exact goal (although I do have a FAB bday party coming up at the end of Oct in FLA for a friend. Hmmm. Wardrobe alert!) It's about feeling good. it's about liking how I look, within reason. It's about finding that center of the rack.

I hope I'm back on track. Check in and see.